What is a promise ring?

What does a promise ring mean?

It marks a commitment between two people that is not yet an engagement. Most often it is a promise of an engagement to come: we are serious and we intend to marry, just not yet. For some couples it is a commitment that will never become a marriage and does not need to.

The same name is also used for a purity ring, worn as a pledge to wait until marriage, which is a different promise altogether. Because the phrase covers both, say what yours means when you give it. A promise ring has no fixed meaning; it has the one the two of you agree.

Is a promise ring a new idea?

The name is new; the idea is not. Rings were among the most popular gifts between lovers centuries ago. Posy rings, gold bands inscribed with a short line of verse, were given as love tokens in England and France from the fifteenth to the seventeenth centuries, usually with the words on the inside.

One in the Victoria and Albert Museum, made in England in the 1600s, reads: Accept this gift of honest love which never could nor can remove. A promise ring with a line engraved inside is doing exactly what that ring did.

Latin phrases for wedding rings: Short lines that fit inside a band, with what they mean.

Which finger does a promise ring go on?

Wherever you like; there is no rule. Many people wear one on the ring finger of the right hand, which keeps the left free for an engagement ring later. Others wear it on the left ring finger until an engagement ring replaces it, then move it across or wear the two together.

Whichever you choose, measure that finger. Sizes are not the same on both hands and there is no fixed number to add or take away, so a ring sized for the left hand may not fit the right.

Ring size finder: Measure the finger it will go on, in about two minutes.

How to find a ring size secretly: If the ring is a surprise.

What is the difference between a promise ring and an engagement ring?

An engagement ring says you have agreed to marry. A promise ring says you mean to, or simply that you are committed, without a date or a plan. That difference is mostly about what the ring announces to other people.

So think about how it will be read. A solitaire diamond on the left ring finger will be taken for an engagement ring by nearly everyone who sees it, whatever you call it. If you want to avoid the questions, a slim band or a ring worn on the right hand reads as a promise rather than an engagement. If you would rather it could become the engagement ring later, choose a band with diamonds set into it: several of ours are sold as engagement rings.

Engagement ring vs wedding ring: What each one is for and whether you need both.

Engagement rings: Titanium and black zirconium bands with diamonds set into them.

How much should you spend on a promise ring?

There is no convention and nobody expects a promise ring to cost what an engagement ring does. Spend what you are comfortable with and put the thought into the ring rather than the price. A plain titanium band is among the least expensive rings we make and will stand up to being worn every day.

Make it a ring that can last, though. A promise ring is worn daily for what may be years. A plated ring that wears through in months makes a poor symbol of anything lasting.

Promise rings: Slim bands, made in your size.

Why black plating wears off: And the black rings that do not.

What should you engrave on a promise ring?

Something short and yours: a date, initials, a word only the two of you understand, or a line in the posy tradition. We engrave inside the band free, up to thirty characters. You can see your words on the ring before you order.

Two practical points. An engraved ring is made for you and cannot be returned for a change of mind, so settle the size first. And if the ring may one day sit beside an engagement ring, keep the engraving to something that will still be true then.

See your engraving: Your words on the ring before you order.

What to engrave in a wedding ring: Ideas, lengths and what reads well inside a band.

Can a promise ring become a wedding ring?

Yes, if you choose it with that in mind. A slim band in titanium or black zirconium is the same band couples buy as a wedding ring, in a narrower width, so nothing about it needs to change. A slim band with one small diamond set into it is already a diamond wedding band, in a narrower width. Either can stay on the finger through every stage that follows.